Sunday, October 17, 2010

October 15, 2010 - Wedding Sermon for Nicholas Fellner and Jennifer Conner - St. Matthew 19:4-6

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife and they will be one flesh. Three times we heard that! We heard it on the day when the Lord brought Eve to Adam and instituted holy marriage. We hear it repeated by St. Paul as he teaches us how holy marriage of a man and woman is a picture of Jesus Christ and His bride, the church. And we heard it from our Lord Jesus Himself who adds these words: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no man separate.” Three times we've heard this. Anything three times in the Bible means, “Pay attention! Listen up!” Nick: today you are leaving behind father and mother and being united to Jennifer who will is your bride. Today, Jennifer, you are being united to Nick who is your husband.

Jesus tells us that this is not Nick and Jennifer doing this but the Lord Himself. What God has joined together, let no one separate. This means that your marriage today is a gift. A gift from your heavenly Father. Jennifer, your heavenly Father's gift to Nick. Nick, your heavenly Father's gift to Jennifer. And both of you, a gift to Landon and Taylor and the little one who is yet to be born. That's because marriage is all about the Lord's gifts! To stand here today before the Lord is to acknowledge that what is going on here is the Lord's work, not yours. This is a gift. It is given graciously by your heavenly Father. It is a gift that Christ comes down to make the church His bride by dying for her sins. It is gift when the Lord gives us His Word and the Holy Spirit so that we believe and trust in Jesus. It is a gift when Nick and Jennifer are joined in holy marriage and it is a gift that the Lord has given you children and a gift for those children to have parents to love them and teach them the faith. It's all a gift!

So when Jesus says, “What God has joined together let no one separate,” He's warning us not to despise His gifts. Nick, the Lord is giving you a gift today in Jennifer. Beware of not putting her first, of not treating her like the precious gift she is, of not putting her up on that pedestal and giving her the top place in your life right under the Lord Himself! Nick, the devil, the world and your own sinful nature want nothing more than to tear apart what God is joining here. Beware of this. Watch out for the selfishness that so easily causes hurt and conflict in a marriage. And Jennifer, the Lord is giving you Nick today. Beware of not treating him as a gift but instead taking him for granted and putting yourself first. Watch out for that same selfishness that loves to be the most important without also loving him as the most precious gift you have from your heavenly Father. And both of you, beware of neglecting the gift of your children. They are a precious gift from the Lord. Beware of that same selfishness that is so deadly to marriage that is also so hurtful to our little ones when it doesn't receive them as the treasures and gifts that they are. Beware of anything in your marriage that has the potential to separate what the Lord has joined together. But even more than that. Beware of your inability to fix those things yourselves!

The Lord is giving you to each other as a gift in marriage. But His gift giving does not stop there. Long before you were being married, the Son of God was joined to human flesh and became man to be our Savior. St. Paul tells us all about it, how the Lord Jesus came and gave His life for us. How He died for our sins on the cross. How He has washed us in Holy Baptism to make us pure and spotless and blameless. So that He doesn't see our sins and faults but only our holiness in Him. You need this Savior if you are going to be married. For you need to know, Nick, that every time you treat Jennifer as something less than the Lord's gift to you, you have sinned. But more than that, you need to know that Jesus, our bridegroom, has given His life for you and so forgives you your sins. Jennifer you need to know that when you act as if Nick is no gift but a nuisance, your Savior has answered for that too and forgives you your sins. And together, as you raise your family and bring up your children, you both need to know that the blood of Jesus on that cross was spilled also for every sin you will have against your children. In short, in this marriage, know that Christ is your Savior. He who has come to take a bride for Himself also promises to bless this gift of marriage with the gift of His forgiveness.

And it is that forgiveness that you receive in His church, by your Baptism, by Christ's Body and Blood, by your pastor forgiving you—it is that forgiveness that will be the strength and foundation of your marriage. When you put those rings on each other in just a few minutes, that is what you are pledging. Not your perfection, because we know that's not possible in this life. Rather, you are pledging to deliver to each other the forgiveness that Christ gives to you to each other. Nick, when you place that ring on Jennifer's finger, you are promising that when she is not the perfect wife, when she falls short, when she doesn't at all seem like a gift of God, that you will not leave her or forsake her but love her, forgive her and keep cherishing her as if she has no sins and faults! And Jennifer, the ring that you place on Nick's finger today is your promise to give to him the same forgiveness Jesus gives you. It is your promise that when he is no gift of God but an annoying and sinful husband, you won't bail, but stand with him, forgiving him and loving him and treating him as the gift he is from your heavenly Father. And that same forgiveness is also yours for your children. Teach them too what it means that their sins are forgiven. That you won't hold their mistakes against them but love and cherish them too.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife and they shall be one flesh. So what God has joined together let no one separate. Marriages are separated all the time in this fallen world. That's why you're here in Christ's church today, Nick and Jennifer, because you are acknowledging that the only strength and foundation of marriage is Jesus Christ and His forgiveness. But with that gift, the gift of marriage is truly a holy institution. Today, Nick and Jennifer, you are gifts to each other and to your children. The Lord richly bless you your whole life long as together you live by His grace and His gifts in Jesus Christ. His gifts and promises and blessings are all for you. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.

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